Being new to Twitter, I’ve been scouting around to find people with whom to dialogue on topics of interest to me. The other day, I found a guy who was doing the typical ChurchyChristian thing, slobbering all over his own hermeneutic, sneering at those too stupid to understand that they should agree with him, worshiping the authority figures in his 501 (c) (3) mortgaged building with a cross out front.
I made a couple of comments, and he predictably tried to “challenge” me with smartass questions that demonstrated the false assumptions he made about me right off the bat. I then asked him a simple question that he apparently didn’t like.
His response was to block me. So boo-frikking-hoo, I can’t play in his sandbox anymore.
This is the part where I’m supposed to say that this doesn’t bother me, that I’m too busy with too many important things to think about some thin-skinned doctrinaire pewsitter. Well, I’m not going to say that, because it does bother me. I’m not going to do the ChurchyChristian act and pretend that I’m above anger or negative feelings.
Fact is, I pretty much hate guys like this.
He’s so typical of the chairborne rangers one encounters in the organized church. His goal in life is to sit around with one index finger up in the air, one hand clutching his lapels, droning on in a nasal monotone about theories and historical precedents and what someone, someday, should do, and how he’s devoted to defending the honor of Christ, etc. Even reading the extremely truncated communiques allowed by Twitter, I can easily deduce that he’s likely one of those who writes in a self-consciously obtuse way, because he thinks it makes him look like a formidable intellect. I’ve encountered these fellows before. They produce things that look like this (and I’m just improvising):
“The needful paradigm of the Christocentric praxis is tending towards a nullification of the bowl of Captain Crunch which is even now experiencing soggification and verily cries out for supralapsarian synergies, all the while emulating pate de fois gras at the epistemological level on a tightly-focused algorithm of eschatology.”
Yeah, I hate guys like this. I also pity them, because they have no one in their lives who loves or respects them enough to tell them the truth. No one has ever told them, “You know, you write like a fucking idiot who got a thesaurus and a prescription for Phenteramine for Christmas. You need to cut that shit out.”
But back to my hatred.
I can hear it rising up inside the heads of any ChurchyChristian who reads these words. “Kirk, hatred is a sin. If you hate your brother, you’re walking in darkness and have never seen the light. Hating your brother is equivalent to murder.” Well, let’s see now.
Christ Jesus told me who my brother is. He said that my brother (and my mother and my sister and so on) is the one who does the will of Father in Heaven. Is a guy who advocates self-slavery to a corrupt, manmade countryclub like the organized church doing the will of my Father? No number one.
The psalmist said to his Father, “Do I not hate them that hate You? I hate them with perfect hatred.” I know John Piper is terrified of (hates?) these kinds of verses, but is agreeing with the psalmist here a sin? No number two.
These kinds of discussions can never be held in a church or a church-related function. Any man who speaks truthfully and plainly will be attacked and shut down by the “That’s not loving! That’s a sin!” squealers.
I subjected myself and my family to such effeminate nonsense for years. Why would I do it again?